Celebrating, mindfulness and what I am constantly missing
Christmas is my favourite time of the year. I wouldn't know exactly why. We're bombarded with messages to be happy and gather with a perfect and loving family and celebrate, and give to others, and redefine your goals, and go to a special place, and...wait, will you stop that,please?
I do have nice memories from Christmas during my childhood. I remember the family walks before dinner, there is a famous Christmas market next to my parents' and we used to buy some funny gadget for us kids, I remember the hot chocolate and churros after the Three Wise Men parade, and as strange as this might sound, those years when Harry Potter and The Lord of the rings aired in the movie theaters, those years had that special shared moment.
As an adult, I still feel a, sort of, emotional prick every Christmas. I miss having a united family. Well, not exactly, what does that mean, a united family? I miss connecting with my family, all year around. We've had different experiences in life and my usual feeling after a conversation is that of...lack of connection and empathy. I don't usually understand their actions and choices, and don't feel like they understand mine either. I miss the shared experience of life, with them.
A lot of that comes from our relational patterns, which I have taken the time to reflect on and confront, this is an ongoing journey. But they have not. This is one of the reasons why I preach coaching and therapy as something to have in your life, a space to review everything and discover, and choose and redefine. And by doing this for yourself you will be giving to others, because by changing yourself, the others will change, only not necessarily in the way you would want or expect.
Why wait for Christmas time to do all this for yourself?
As an adult with an inner child, I do miss the happy times I had during those past Christmas years, when I waited for the nice food and all around the table, waited for presents and just enjoyed.
Nowadays I still enjoy just walking around the city looking for Christmas trees and decorations, lighted streets. It is now that I'm aware of how that connects to my childhood and nurture it mindfully, and feel the nostalgia from a place of respect to what it was, and a place of gratitude for what is.
The past shapes me, from the present: I can choose how to look at the past from the present, and then, look forward.
Let's embrace change together, shall we?
The emotional coach